teichan

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 03:26:36 GMT

Narcissism taking over. Looks like you're shit out of luck.

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 08:37:42 GMT

Welp year's ending in like five days, guess I should do a retrospective.

Part 1: Video Games

Hahaha you think I'm going to talk about video games. Guess you have to wait a day now.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:52:40 GMT

i have this habit where anything i write inspires people to the purest form of rage. a rage that is beyond the confines of flesh and blood, ugly and beauty. a gorgeous untempered rage that even words cannot begin to describe. words taught to us like a spell from school teachers, telling us that the written word "penis" equates to the soft-yet-hard tree whose necar i may sample from time to time. what's to say that another word doesn't tell me that's what it is any better? what's to say that i need to use words at all? why even use words at all when human language can evolve so much further past that. i'm sure that the gods themselves communicate to each other in so much more complicated forms of communication. no one can describe it because there is no way to describe something that is beyond our own basic thought. you may think yourself a special person because you can escape your mortal coils and stow away in a fantasy word of your own creation or what have you, but it's just that. you're still as much of a mortal as the rest of us and karma catches up faster to those trying to run far away from their deeds than those that anchor themselves towards absolving all the souls they've wronged leading themselves towards a more holy lifestyle.

i'm not trying to brag or anything, but i may be the holiest of them all.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:26:14 GMT

Writer's Block: Starting from Scratch

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:33:12 GMT

What would it take to get you to start a new life on a new world?

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I wouldn't mind being a white savior like the hero in the hit movie Avatar, coming out in theaters December 18th. Unfortunately I am not male therefore I am not allowed to be. Such is the way of life.

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 08:56:10 GMT

HOLY SHIT who the fuck requests some shitty tifa piano theme from motherfucking advent children it wasn't even that good of a movie. what kind of person even likes tifa tifa is probably one of the worst females in the final fantasy universe and i say one of the because there's very few that seperate themselves from the stereotypes that the others can't help but be stuck in. fucking advent children what did tifa do jack shit.

oh don't cry it's okay tifa's there to wipe away all your tears. listen to that melodic piano tune. you just wish that tifa could be there to actually wipe your tears, let you rest your head aganist her

shoulders and tell you everything's going to be okay. every time you read that news story about the guy in japan who married a girl from a video game you just SCORN him. that game hasn't even been out for more than a few months, right?! he can't begin to understand the kind of love and nuturing that a woman needs. not like you and tifa. you two have known each other for twelve years. twelve years is far longer than two months. you and tifa have a sort of connection that lasts twelve years. that japanese plebien can't even begin to understand concepts like LOVE and ADORATION and

oh it ended what were you talking about again?

>>

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:56:11 GMT

well thanks for the support guys because it gets EVEN BETTER

"I received a call from [your therapist]. She indicated you saw her in August 2008 and August 2009, twice total in the past 1 year. Based on her limited evaluation, she cannot recommend hormonal therapy at this time. In general for patients to be considered for hormonal therapy, they must work closely with a psychotherapist regarding the gender identity issue for at least 1 year. Having two visits 1 year apart cannot be counted as such."

First of all it was 3, I can tell because looking up the phone number for the psych place has Aug 08, May 09 and Aug 09 all listed in "previous appointments"

Second, holy fuck. HOLY FUCK. I'd probably just get my ass on inhouse already and shit but i've been waiting on my hands and fucking ass on this for the past few months and honestly, my health insurance runs out in march so it's not like it's a bad idea to use it as much as possible until then. THANKS REPUBLICANS FOR MAKING IT SO EASY FOR ME TO CHOOSE A COMPETETOR'S INSURANCE WHEN IT COMES TO MEDICAL ISSUES YOU GUYS WANT TO BAN FROM BEING AVALIABLE OH WAIT

fuuuuuck

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:19:44 GMT

gotta wait a few weeks again to see if my therapist is gonna sweet talk the endo i haven't seen for a year into letting me start, fuckin AWESOME.

i mean i guess it's not a big deal because most of my friends don't want to fuck me unless i had a vagina i was born with (none of these sorcerer supreme bullshit vaginas) so i'm not really in a rush to have a vagina at all and it's not like my dick's gonna do much either. i honestly just want boobs and a partner to play with them i'm not even picky about gender anymore guys i promissssssssssss

Nah I dunno I think I'm taking it too well considering this is basically my whole fucking life

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:36:34 GMT

so i finished my namowrimo early you should check it out

http://teichan.livejournal.com/194877.html

also some shit about i should not be re-digging up on people i can remember, some of them just don't grow up fast enough holy shit weeaboos

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:32:46 GMT

Chapter 1

Fuck Dammit shit damn hell fucking screw fucking shit shit fucking hell shithole damn shit fucked shit shit shit shit.

Chapter 2

shithole assholes shits pissed ass fucked shit hell damn shit shit shit hell fucking ass hell hell shit shit shit damn shit.

Chapter 3

shit bitching fucking ass shit fuck fucking hell damn shit shitty bastards Fuckers damn damn pricks bullshit pricks fucking fruits fuckers fucking assholes shit bullshit fucking bitching goddamn shit ass assholes kickass motherfuckers fucking shit ass asses fucking Shit damn Damn fucking.

Chapter 4

fucking pissed goddamn shit fags faggot assholes fucking bastards hell fucking hell fuckbat fuckity fuck fucks fucking shit damn fucking shit shit Shit fucking Shithead ass ass asshole shit fucking Fuck hell bitch damn shit shit preteen pedophile-bait song idol.

Chapter 5

damn Fuckers assholes shit shit shit fucking shit shit shit shit shit.

Chapter 6

bitching slut diddly-shit ass shit shit faggot shit old fat coot shit asses shit Damn fat old coot damn fuck crazy-ass shit damn shit damn bitches Damn fucking damn shit shit.

Chapter 7

shit Damn Fucking shit fuckers shit fuck Shit fuck fucking pissed fucking fuck-enough bitch fucking Damn.

Chapter 8

ass shit fucked shit fuck hell fucking Shit hell damn damn shit fuckers pretty boys and some hot girls shit fucking Fuck FUCK!!!

Chapter 9

Fuck asshole shit shitting shit pretty boy fruity-ass damn bullshit fucking shit Shit ass hell fucking shit hell shit

Chapter 10

shit damn hell Damn fuck hell asshole shit fucking assholes hell ass hell shit fuck shit shit hell cunt bitches fucking Pop's Pride Fucking hell bitchslapping bitch Fuck Shit shit fuck pissed shit cunts fuck shit hell damn Fuck damn dick fuck pink soldier shit hell shit crap.

Chapter 11

Damn fuck Shitheads fruit crazy-ass shit shit pecker cock fuck cocks fucknuts shit cunt hell tampon bra Jackass hell hell Fucking fucking pissing Fucking bastard fucking shit fucking shit fucked boobs fuck Shit fuck FUCK fucking Shit fucking ass SHIT fucking fuck fucking fuck pretty boy shat damn pissant cunt shit her lifeless face almost aglow and angelic looking fucking no older than fourteen Shit fuckton fuck.

Chapter 12

hell fuck dipshit hell hell bitching pussy damn fuck-FROZEN bitch shit shits ass bitch fuck body of a twelve year old girl ass barely-fitting uniforms bastard cunts shit fucking shit shit bullshit hell hell preteen song idol Fuck.

Epilogue

hell damn butch hell fucking dick shit penis Fuck tight little cunt scream real nice fuck damn shit shit damn nobility-whoring hippies shits fucking hell dick Shit bastard cunt damn hell.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 06:56:39 GMT

i'm a kniiiiiiiife

knifin arooooound

cutcutcutcutcutcutcutcutcutcutcuuuut cutcutcutcutcutcut

i don't need intelligence drugs because i don't know wht atyhey are okay

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 18:37:59 GMT

been catching up on crappy japanese shows and podcasts lately. usually the cjs don't have much that really stands out but this year's has gone between really shitty looking high school-level CG bullshit that just came out of baby's first poser program, and uh, monsters like this

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:06:04 GMT

i must be sick or something because i just had the most surreal dream in the world

so some two terrorist-lookin guys have me and a large group of people tied up around this old shack, shooting off really shitty rockets that travel a couple of feet and just pop and sizzle. i forget what but they just let us go as this armada of police cars flood the scene. this one lady asks to see my id and i tell her its in the shack in my backpack, so we go in and lo there it is in the corner of some rusted computer room. when i go to look for the id there's MILK, ALL OVER MY BACKPACK. UGH. turns out an entire carton of milk exploded in there, so i drag that shit over to a sink to clean it out.

i guess i drag the milk bag through time and space because now i'm in a completely different home with completely different people. like this whole family living here and stuff. so i go back out to look for the policewoman but she's long gone. instead, this scum-bag lookin movie star wannabe comes over to me and starts offering to let ME hang out with a bunch of movie stars; gwyneth paltrow, hallie berry, drew barrymore. dude even throws in this bitchin dress. so i'm like why not, change into this dress behind some blanket the dude so lovingly holds up, and hop in them limo. turns out its a bunch of high school dudes i knew crammed in there. UH OH CLIFFHANGER.

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:37:33 GMT

what, life is pretty awesome?

yup

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:42:40 GMT

guess i'll deal with facebook later, i don't really use it much anyway so WELP

ALSO THANKS FOR MISSING THE POINT ENTIRELY GUYS GOOOSHHHHH

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:04:53 GMT

Volunteered for AIDS walk Sunday, holy shit my whole body is fucking aching a day later

spent like an hour hanging with a group of north county collegers and then another couple hours clapping and screaming and cheering on runners and walkers. I wish I had a camera or something holy shit. we hung out a bit afterwards and exchanged facebooks, +8 new friends fuck yes.

always been worried about how I'm supposed to date people WHILST a trans sexual sex haver but after hanging out with a group of new people it just kind of clicked. I mean obv i need a job and being in school would be a plus (the sdsu group looked totally boring, kind of glad i wasn't hanging out with them, maybe i should check out this north coast church college? idk) but this is easily the best volunteer group i've been with yet.

probably gonna start looking out for bigger volunteer groups, the lgbt center's been fun and all but it's really tiny in comparison to fucking AIDS and plus it can get me away from gay guys and hopefully just straight guys, aww yeah.

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 03:03:50 GMT

probably my biggest regret of the year is not getting on this, ugh :|

someone ask like lifetime or something if they want to do a documentary on me, i'm sure it won't cost much

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 06:04:34 GMT

kicked a stoner's ass on the bus

man i'm hardcore

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 06:09:49 GMT

man i need to lay off the touhou

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 05:38:48 GMT

Praise God, help me Lord be a voice of righteous and have your wisdom. Yes, Jesus paid taxes but we are not Rome by God's design. God raised up America for such a time as this. America's form of Government is like no other nation. We are the closest thing to the perfect rule of man that God has laid out in His Word in the new Testament. We as Christians are to rule ourselves by our own free will through God within and His Holy Word. This nation was raised up by God to prove that man could rule himself under the power and authority of Christ. When man does he prospers as a nation or as an individual. The ruin of America will be because we America are no longer one nation under God. We are going our own way not seeking God or His Wisdom. We now have laws protecting animals such as the bald eagle where we are fined thousands for the destroying it's eggs or it's young. Yet we protect not our own from abortion. A fetus is a baby Jeremiah says God knew you in your mother's womb. John the Baptist knew Jesus in his mother's womb leaped for joy at Jesus in Mary' womb. The tax system of the Roman Empire some historian say was it's down fall. When they started to tax it's own people more than 50% of their income it started to crumble from within. So is America in danger. We the people of the USA have a voice and a choice unlike Rome. In America God gave us a Government to be a servant of the people not the other way around. We have freedom of speech and we better use it. Thank you Tim for the Video sing on. Watch Glenn Beck he is a Christian and he is one of the few in the media speaking the truth. But don't take his word for it. Question everything do your home work check things out and above all pray.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 05:34:39 GMT

SERIOUS POST (because I post so much already ha ha)

Wasn't lying about the news appearance, although I was mostly just volunteering in the background and got hit with a good "deer in headlight" camera shot. The whole thing kind of made me re-evaluate where I'm going transitionally and I felt like shit for a while. I looked AWFUL and APPARENTLY nobody told me this for the past FEW MONTHS.

I'm not gonna lie. A lot of my confidence comes from ignoring everyone around me. I don't really care what anyone thinks abut me but ironically nobody ever tells me, about me. So if I ever get a chance to evaluate myself like on a local news channel nothing good comes of it. And then I get to thinking (because I have a LOT of free time obviously).

I still love volunteering, but it's slowed down a LOT since I started back in late June. I had the shift last week, and literally the next volunteer gig is on the 20th, then I help out for AIDS Walk on the 27th. That's it for September. There's other places I could try and volunteer, sure, but it'd literally take the rest of the month before I could start somewhere else. If I learned anything, the majority of the volunteer base would be much older than me or in high school, which just makes it harder to make more friends around my age. And probably the biggest thing, I'm really comfortable volunteering at the lgbt center.

Nothing else is really going well either. I wouldn't really say I'm depressed, I'm just kind of sick of the way things are going and putting so much effort in everything for it to never work. I really wish I could've gotten into college this semester but it just wouldn't work and I still don't have a job right now and I'm not driving and I'm falling back to old habits and ugh. Things were going SO EXCEPTIONALLY WELL once I changed my name earlier this year and all that momentum just trainwrecked.

I'm running out of friends, too. Out of like the one I've been able to make (plus maybe a couple of people at the lgbt place, but I don't even see them anymore when I'm volunteering so I can't really exchange phone numbers or anything), I've lost contact with everyone from high school, and after spending a WHOLE. FUCKING. DAY. WITH THIS SHITBAG who broke up with his girlfriend and needed help, shockingly, SHOCKINGLY, SHOCKINGLY he went and dropped me again. The new friend's nice and all but we barely talk or hang out and I kind of wonder if he had some unrealistic expectations of me or something as we knew and talked to each other on the internet for a year or two and then he met me and OOPS.

Uuuuuuuuuuugh.

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 19:11:20 GMT

got to be on the news today, twice

fuck yeah

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 22:44:32 GMT

i'm doc doc doctor dick and when you're feelin sick babe i know a trick its sex and its sex you'll be feelin alright let's have sex together and forever tonight

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 17:32:25 GMT

Writer's Block: What Makes You Feel Sexy?

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:11:09 GMT

What makes you feel sexy?

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I feel sexy adhering to the patriarchal standards of our society today.